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When I was working as a literary agent, I often had full days in New York City, seeing as many as eight people a day for short visits.
I was having lunch with a woman at a Vietnamese restaurant. Either she was late (she was) or I was too early, but we ended up rushing through the meal, and consequently I was late to my first afternoon appointment, and all those thereafter. No time to stop in a bathroom until the end of the afternoon.
I was about to explode when I finally got to a bathroom. That taken care of, I went to swish some water in my mouth, only to discover my teeth where full of greens. Think the hanging gardens of Babylon.
Illustration of what the hanging gardens of Babylon may have looked like. Once one of the seven ancient wonders of the world, it is unclear who built them, perhaps King Nebuchadnezzar II. The gardens are the only wonder of the world that have not been located.
I was mortified. But on top of that I was angry that none of the people I met with was kind enough to say something. Sheesh! Luckily my work day was over, and I went directly to the little bar near my hotel and had a glass of wine. I never sold a book to any of those editors.
When I got home, our Thai friend Eddie said, "Oh, everyone in Thailand would tell you, even strangers on the street."
Thanks, Eddie.
***
In another professional mishap, before I became an agent, I was in between jobs and got sucked into the idea that informational interviews -- where you ask total strangers to talk with you about their jobs and people they may know who could help you. This is an excruciatingly difficult and utterly worthless process.
I was in downtown Washington, D.C. in my best silk business suit, tottering along on relatively tall heels for me. I was on my way to the American Pharmaceutical Association, a reflection of my desperation. I wasn't paying attention and a segment of the sidewalk rose up before me, tripping me into a lame garden full of sticky bushes. Luckily there were no small children around.
People offered to help but there's nothing that makes you feel stupider than falling over your own two feet.
I surveyed the damage. My stockings were torn and laddered, my leg was bleeding and I was in a state of general disarray. Luckily my suit seemed to be okay. My plan was to dive into the ladies room when I got to the association to patch things up ass well as possible. So I continued on my way.
When I got to the receptionist to ask where the bathrooms were, she gave me a very cold look.
"Are you aware that you have branches in your hair?"
"Yes, you jerk, I always wear branches in my hair for business appointments."
No , I didn't say that, but I could see my informational interview was doomed.
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